But You Look so Well

The Struggle to Survive
When Pain is Invisible

Denise Trewartha

But You Look so Well

The Struggle to Survive When Pain is Invisible

In this compelling memoir, Denise courageously takes us on an intimate journey through the aftermath of contracting shingles in her face – a virus that damaged multiple cranial nerves. The damage left her with the excruciating condition of post herpetic trigeminal neuralgia and subsequently Ramsay Hunt syndrome, forever altering her life.

Amid unrelenting pain and profound loss, Denise candidly explores the challenges of living with an invisible condition and faces buried trauma that shaped her life. With raw honesty, she confronts her struggles with self-neglect and reveals the power of facing unresolved wounds.

More than just a story of suffering, this memoir is a testament to resilience and hope, highlighting the importance of self-love and the courage it takes to heal from deep emotional scars. Denise’s unwavering fight to endure, persist and seek even a semblance of relief against what many would deem insurmountable pain is nothing short of extraordinary. It is testament to a strength few could ever fathom. It delivers a powerful message: even in the face of unimaginable pain, it is possible to rediscover hope and embrace life again.

" Shingles. A virus. An unwelcome disturbance that would change my life forever. "

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Denise Trewartha

Denise Trewartha grew up with her parents and two siblings in Nunjikompita, a remote farming community on the Far West Coast of South Australia, on the traditional lands of the Wirangu people. Her childhood playground was the vast, open landscape, fostering a deep love for the outdoors. She attended a small, one-teacher primary school with 14–16 students before attending boarding school in Adelaide.

Raised in a close-knit farming community, Denise developed a strong commitment to service and contribution, values she has carried throughout her life. She was awarded a School Service Award in her final year of college (1985), Ceduna’s Australia Day Junior Citizen of the Year (1989) and received a NEITA (National Excellent in Teaching Award) for service to her school community (2004).

Denise has a teaching degree and worked in various teaching roles and as a literacy consultant. Passionate about the role of interconnectedness, she instilled the belief that ‘we are in this together’ in her classroom – a philosophy she continues to uphold in her life, believing it builds resilience, enhances wellbeing, and fosters compassion for shared human experiences. This concept of common humanity also inspired her memoir, But You Look So Well, written to give voice to those who suffer in silence so they feel seen, heard and understood. Later, driven by a deep curiosity about human behaviour, she pursued postgraduate education in life coaching, further exploring how connection shapes personal growth and resilience.

She is married with two wonderful daughters and now resides in Adelaide, South Australia. Despite living with a chronic pain condition, Denise remains deeply connected to nature, spending as much time outdoors as her health allows, travelling to warmer climates in winter. Denise continues to serve her community, visiting health facilities with her adored cavoodle, Gracie, to provide pet therapy. Through her memoir and community work, she hopes to inspire others to embrace the power of interconnectedness in creating compassionate, supportive communities.

TESTIMONIALS

This is indeed a special memoir ... Beautifully crafted, one cannot read this and remain unaffected ... Reading this book is a profound and powerful experience; it teaches, enlightens and motivates. Thank you Denise.

This memoir is a must-read for anyone who wants to understand how a friend, family member, colleague or even someone they don’t actually know, suffers quietly, silently, because of an invisible illness or the impact of trauma.

To those who suffer, her story says, ‘You can survive.’ To those who heal, her story says, ‘You are enough.’ To those who merely exist in this world, her story says, ‘You can create a life worth living.’ Her story is a gift to the world. Please take it, hold it, pass it on.

But You Look So Well is a testament to finding light amid adversity ... It is an unforgettable read that leaves a lasting impact – one of courage, honesty and inspiration.

What Denise has done through this journey is nothing short of remarkable ... Denise’s courage in sharing her truth is a gift to anyone who reads it. I’m so proud of her, and moved by all that she has become.

Reading about Denise’s struggles has been both confronting and deeply moving. The extent of her cruel suffering is difficult to comprehend, yet she remains steadfast in her commitment to kindness and generosity … I am in awe of her resilience.